What comes first? Being loved or loving oneself?

Tonight, in Dallas, TX I met a cute-ass latino boy. He was 26, I was 29. We both weren't single. He was new to Dallas (4 months only) and I was too (1 day, visiting for work.) Hector's friend treated him like shit. Made fun of him and humilitated him in front of me. Apparently there was competition to get in my pants. But i was drawn to Hector right in the beginning. He was cute, out going, sincere, and had really tried to convince himself that he was able to pull himself up by his bootstraps. He emigrated from El Paso with 50 bucks, at 26, 120lbs, gay and latino in Bush country. Besides his friend who called him "ghetto," Hector was all along in the lone star. After his friend ditched him because he was jealous that Hector was going to laid (who was in love with who?) Hector rejected his proposed lay and came to me upset that his friend ditched him. I was amazed that Hector believed that he was actually "ghetto," "not lovable," and eventually told me that he haden't met anyone like me that was so nice to him. Either he hadn't and he would or it was is manipulation to get me into bed to feel sorry for him. More reason NOT to sleep with him right?? I felt really sorry for him over the pizza I bought for both of us that he was alone, in a big big world with no support. On top of that he didn't want anyone cuz he wanted to prove to himself (and me I think) that he could do it ALL alone. I told him never are we alone. He wouldn't have it as he cried on my shoulder and then begging for me to come home with him. There is no way that someone could love him if he truely didn't love himself. Was he so needing affirmation that is lovable that he needed me to do the loving for him, the love that he needed to do for himself? Or did he just need that nice loving guy to encourage him and support him like I was tonight? Would that be enough to spark the motivation and self-love that he so needed? I told him I couldn't go home with him, even though I really wanted to get my groove on. It just wasn't right for him nor for me. Especially for my partner! Giving love isn't the same as loving. And sometime love is not loving. But where does the spark of love begin, with yourself or with others? Can love exist without an object...me nor you? Or it cannot exist without you nor me? For Hector's sake, I hope it finds him before he or anyone else finds it.

Party like it's 1999!!!

We are all made of stars

To find out what your made of, go to the stars...
chabot observatory

There is hope: social justice groups

The number of social justice groups out number hate groups. I cannot beleive people actually think that anti-hate laws are an infringement on their liberty! Trying living in fear!

social justice groups

Attention all Right Wing shoppers! HATE GROUPS EXIST!

So you think California is a Leftist, Racial Liberal State? Take a look at this! Only about 50 hate groups reside there.

Hate groups a la cart

Fun with Retro: in their words

Before childhood labor laws, Lords had servant girls who were widely expected to perform ungodly sexual acts, wet nurse animals, transport heroid in sheepskin condoms in their unmentionables, and the most horrific act of all, JAVA MAKING!!!


"Martha, I don't know what 'roofies' are, but it sure sounds good! Thank you darling, bottoms up."

The handsome but naive and unsuspecting David would really have his bottoms up tonight, thanks to Martha, also known as Dominatrix Oppuraz



Although the Beaver triplets were active, dutiful altar boys, their energy and excitement for new things always terrorized Father Mullister (so the community thought). This is why people thought whenever Father saw the boys he would begin to sing under his breath, "Once; Twice; Three times the young boys..."



After a long hot session in the ally behind "Mody Dicks," James and Peter decided to chill and look unconspicious before they got discovered by the local police. However, in the darkness of the ally they mangaged to put on the other's clothing. But alas, there ARE benefits to living in sin...

From Potatoes to Your Web Browser

iampotatoes, who are you?

This nickname has developed over the years. you know the game "telephone" where someone whispers ONLY ONCE a statement/fact into someone's ear. then that person whispers what they hear to the next, then that person whispers what they heard...key rule: WHAT THEY HEARD. since the statement is only whispered once, it becomes disorted a bit. well that is kinda how my nick name 'iampotatoes' came about.

My partner has called me 'papa' for a while now. eventually we pluralized our names; mine became 'papas.' many of our friends wondered what that meant, if it had a particular meaning. but in all seriousness, it literally means in spanish 'potatoes.' so a large porportion of my friends call me 'potatoes.'

My old email use to be 'popularry,' my punny attempt to be---well---punny! anyways after fighting off thousands of spam i decided to develop a new email. other puns like 'larrye' or 'copularry' sucked so i opted to try things like 'iamfantastic,' 'iamhappy,' and 'iamsexy'---but to no avail---taken! so i opted to something that people were already calling me-- potatoes! so popularry became iampotatoes.

This blog is dedicated to my friends---family you get to chose. so i chose wisely. the purpose of this blog is two-fold. 1) it collects my random thoughts and ideas and 2) fulfills my internet-life-long dream to have my own website. since i like to write and do fun things like this i figure why wait, blogs are in for a reason! so i jumped on the blogging bandwagon to fulfill my destiny. so hold on folks, welcome to my bandwagon aventures a sample of my so called life.

bless you

and if you are under 18 please say no to drugs, dogma, and Bush--bad habits are harder to break when your older!